move.

I stumbled upon Renee Yohe's blog a few years ago and was immediately drawn to her writings. Such honesty, such pain, such determination. I was elated when she came out with a book (Purpose for the Pain) full of writings from her journal.

My favorite has got to be Move.

"I have been trapped. put on hold. placed carelessly on layaway, a moment of indecision, confusion, and then i'm left hanging on a wire, suspended...

How cruel, I say, how unfair! my heart is not mechanical and i don't have a switch to flip. i was not meant to pause, to stop. i am a force that drives and moves and shakes. i am uncomfortable. i am uncertain of many things.

i am uncertain when to flight or flee, when to test or roll over and bare my neck for your teeth to tear to shred or caress. I am uncertain when to stay or take my pieces or go. i am unsure of how this works, how it fits and which parts to discard and which things to hold onto for later. i am unsure of you, your heart and mine and if they match or if i have been coloring outside the lines again.

if i am five and i have dressed myself in all confidence to be laughed back into my bedroom to try again.

or if by going i am burning.

what i am sure of is what my heart is for. the only clarity i find is my drive to move for people. for dirty ditches and reaching hands and shelter in the storms. for setting broken hearts and loving scarred up arms. for building and restoring and tearing down and starting over.

and so that is what i will do. i will move. with or without you. i will walk on and forge this path and let go. open my hand, so sweaty, clenched tight to my chest, and give it back to the one who give to me in first place and trust. in my plans for the future, for hope, for a love that will stay.

i will allow you to be removed from me (simple but not easy) and continue forward. and. if, i look over and someone is there, i will run with them.

happily ever after is not always what we thought it would be. is not always guaranteed. is not always...is not...is...

so this is me hanging up the phone. not sure if you have heard, or if you are only listening or if you have again fallen asleep. this is me taking a step forward refusing to turn my head to see if you will choose. to see if you are following me. this is me and my heart determined to move."

isn't she amazing? I think so.

camping

I have been craving a beach camping weekend.
Summers of surf camp have spoiled me and I can't believe I didn't live at the beach this summer.

My newest find on etsy is Leannegraeff. She has these adorable camping tea towels and totes. They just make you want to go camping. And...she's doing a giveaway!

anyone want to go camping????

the one

I found it.
THE one.
The one I’ve waited for all my life…

MY PERFECT CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIE RECIPE.
Not too thin, not too big…justtttt perfect.

2 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
3/4 cup unsalted butter, softened
1 cup packed brown sugar
1/2 cup white sugar
1 tbsp vanilla extract
1 egg
1 egg yolk
2 cups semisweet chocolate chips

• preheat the oven to 325 degrees F. grease cookie sheets or line with parchment paper.
• sift together the flour, baking soda and salt; set aside. in a medium bowl, cream together the butter, brown sugar and white sugar until well blended.
• beat in the vanilla, egg, and egg yolk until light and creamy. mix in the sifted ingredients until just blended. Chill dough in refrigerator for an hour or so.
• stir in the chocolate chips by hand using a wooden spoon. drop rounded balls of cookie dough, about a spoonful at a time, onto the prepared cookie sheets. cookies should be about 3 inches apart.
• bake for 15 to 17 minutes in the preheated oven, or until the edges are lightly toasted. cool on baking sheets for a few minutes before transferring to wire racks to cool completely.

I also added some orange zest! Sounded good at the time. Even though I’m not that much of a fan of orange and chocolate…but my co-workers liked them!

Thank you’s to heartoflight & milk eggs chocolate!

Finally

2009



Getty Day!



i love these girls.

"hey mickey, you're so fine...so fine you blow my mind...HEY MICKEY!"

Sundays with Lauryn...

I feel like all I do is drive to glendale, work, sleep, and drive home. It's kind of depressing! Luckily this weekend, though glendale was burning up (!!!), lauryn and I managed to make a fabulous desert! Perfect for those hot summer days. Tart, sweet, and really just tastes like summer. And...SO easy to make.

Here's the recipe from baked perfection, and a picture I stole from her as well, because I forgot to take a picture before we consumed the pie!

2 cups graham cracker crumbs
1/4 cup sugar
7 tablespoons butter, melted
1 (14 ounce) can sweetened condensed milk, chilled
1 (12 ounce) container whipped topping, thawed
1 (6 fluid ounce) can frozen lemonade concentrate, keep frozen

Preheat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit.

In medium bowl, combine cracker crumbs, 1/4 cup of sugar, and the melted butter. Press firmly on bottom and up sides of pie plate. Bake for 7 minutes and let cool completely.

In a medium bowl, add chilled sweetened condensed milk and whipped topping and fold gently. Add frozen lemonade and continue to gently fold. Do not let the mixture become soupy. Pour mixture into the pie crust and freeze overnight. Garnish with lemon peel.

Sunday night, we went to the Hotel Cafe for Songwriter Sundays. I almost forgot how much i love live music. My, oh my! We sure did get lucky. Everyone we saw was terrific and the best part was that we only paid $5! What a steal!My favorites from that night were Carlee Hendrix, Nikki Lang, and Susannah Crowley.They were all so adorable. Lauryn and I sat to Nikki's proud Grandma Monica... she was such a kick! Well, I officially fell in love with the Hotel Cafe. Nice venue, though really, really small. I'll have to go back again.

Beach day with my AMG girls tomorrow...and hopefully Selphie. And maybe bake some cookies beforehand.