I just had to share this!

"Despite the dramatic improvements in the survival rates for children with cancer, the family's needs are tremendous as they cope with a serious physical illness and the fear that the child will not be cured. For pediatric oncology nurses, support of children and their families is based on the belief that communication promotes understanding and clarity; with understanding, fear diminishes; in the absence of fear, hope emerges; and in the presence of hope, anything is possible." - Essential of Pediatric Hematology/Oncology Nursing (APHON/Nancy E. Kline)

A letter

Dear Cancer,

I'm sorry to say our paths have crossed far too many times. I am not quite sure what to do with you. I have so many feelings of hatred for you. I curse for the tears, the pain, and heartbreak that you've cause. I hate you for ruining families lives. I hate that you are merciless. Will you stop at no one? Not even the cutest babies in the world? Also, I hate you for lost memories.... memories that will never be made. But I'm going to tell you that the war is not over. Margaret Thatcher once said "You may have to fight a battle more than once to win it." So we will fight. I will help other fight so that maybe one day, we can rid you from our lives.

-Nicole

A terrific reminder

Exactly

Thankful

cloudy mornings that turn into sunny days. family. awesome co-workers who know exactly what to ask, what to say, and who just "get it." music festivals in Pasadena. friends who just make me feel happy. & good coffee.

Fact #238 about me

iLOVEpancakes. especially banana chocolate chip peanut butter with dulce de leche syrup. sugar coma? yes.

Birthday Celebration #3 was a success! Thank you, Los Feliz.

Rockwell. Dresden. Good Luck bar. Fred 62's. yummmmo.

The Loves of My Life

What Sarah Said from Daniel Salinas on Vimeo.

"& it came to me then that every plan is a tiny prayer to father time

Love love love

via WeHeartit

Hope you all had a terrific Memorial day weekend!

Here's to those who serve.

Awake my soul

"How fickle my heart and how woozy my eyes." - Mumford & Sons

-San O (picture taken from their website)

I spent two spectacular summers here. Cooking, playing, attempting to surf... It was the best feeling falling asleep to crashing waves and waking up to them, as well.

Happy Monday!

Tuesday Tunes

"Between the river and the ravens I'm fed,

between oblivion and the blazes I'm led,

So Father give me faith, providence and grace.

Between the river and ravens I'm fed

Sweet deliver, oh you lift up my head

and lead me in your way."

Since I've been debbie downer lately....

Here are somethings that just make me oh so happy!

1.

Comfy beds. Mine. My roommates. My mom's. How much do you want to just crawl into this adorable bed? (via DesignSponge)

2. This post on a favorite blog of mine.

3.This adorable carafe from Paper Source.

4.Flowers- Best nurseries in LA.

5.

6. Hot chocolate popovers. Need I say more?

Friends, I love my job... but sometimes it gets hard to work in Peds hem/onc.

It gets really, really hard.

The fantastic thing is...you fall in love with kids, with families. They become a part of your family and you become a part of theirs. You see when kids take their first steps in the hospital and when they start talking. Playing games with them is a must- Candyland, Twister, and Barrel of Monkeys are a few favorites. You do anything to make them smile... whether it's singing "Yo Gabba Gabba" or "Drop it like it's hot." And when you get a kid to smile or laugh? Oh man, there is nothing better. It warms your heart so quickly that it's ridiculous.

But sometimes it gets difficult.

The poor prognosis's,

the tears that can't seem to stop,

when the kids are too tired to smile or play,

when the parents cannot find any shred of hope.

And especially when all we can do is watch and pray and make them as comfortable and as happy as we can.

That, my friends, is when my job sucks.

Stuck in my head

I

I'm not sure how to navigate this situation.

I'm not sure how to act or which course of action to take.

I'm not used to this role.

I do not know how to be on the opposite side of the hospital bed.

I do not know how to be the family member and not the nurse.

I do not know how to be the person wondering if it'll be okay, instead of the being the person telling someone that they will be okay.

I do not understand having to be consoled, as opposed to do the consoling.

I am heartbroken and speechless,

confused and exhausted,

helpless and hopeless.

I am tired of fighting and it's only been one week.

There's a long road ahead and I am terrified I'm going to break down.

I am fighting so hard to keep the faith, to stay hopeful and strong.

[But please tell me how I'm supposed to do this when I live in a world where I see children die of cancer all too often?]

But I will keep on fighting.

I will make my grandma laugh as often as I can.

I will make sure that the next months/years/whatever they may be are filled with love and oh so much fun.

I will let the tears come as often as they want.

and I will pray for courage & strength & hope & faith.

[For it is not my strength that I need, it's His. Mine fails me each and every time.]

Priscilla Ahn - Find My Way Back Home [Live Performance] from The Mighty Fifty on Vimeo.

Tuesday Tunes

I don't know if you know this... but I love The Cure. Love them. So naturally, when I heard the Watson twins cover "Just Like Heaven" a few years ago, I was ecstatic.

Just Like Heaven - The Watson Twins from LaundroMatinee on Vimeo.

Hope you like it just as much as I do!

P.s. make these cookies. Chelsey & I did... and ate almost half of the batch! Super easy, super delicious. What could be better?

“There is a big difference in what we long for, what

we settle for, and what we are meant for.” -unknown

& that is what I am trying to figure out.

Because it's the little things...

I am really, really grateful for my friends and family.

Via Just-littlethings

Tuesday Tunes

My friends! I had a marvelous weekend. The kind where you spend most of laughing and having good talks with good friends.

Wednesday Night, Laura and I went to Hotel Cafe to listen to Anna Nalick. My, she has such a strong voice! The music was terrific. You know when you're listening to live music and you don't know if you're shaking/chilling because the music is so good or so loud or so urgent and true? I love that. We headed to Kitchen 24 for pancakes afterwards. You all know my love for pancakes!!! We ended up at Stout and had a bunch of laughs chatting with the bartenders.

Friday was family time... I love my crazy family!!! ahaha. They are so ridiculous... but they make me laugh. I'm pretty sure I'm turning into my mom... I make awful jokes that I think are hilarious (which is pretty much the definition of my mom).

I was able to go to Church this Sabbath. I love when I get to do that. There is just something so epic (for lack of a better word) about worshipping with people that you love.

I was able to see some of my favorite guy friends on Sunday. I love them. They wrapped me in one big bear hug and didn't let go for about 3 minutes.... it was both awful and wonderful.

Oooooh, here's your tune for the week!

BOO-HOO

2 stitches. Booo... who knew that your thumbs were so darn important. Even with one, I can't do my job as a nurse on the floor. So, until my stitches are out (at least 10 days), I'm off the floor and without my cute, little kiddos for week & a half. Boo freaking hoo.

Tuesday Tunes

I love this song. Always have and probably always will.

Happy Valentines Day!!! (+ the past week & weekend)

Runyon!

D-land!

Rose's 25th! And yes, I made her cake!

Red Velvet, Cream Cheese Frosting, & White Chocolate shavings!

Malibu with Laura & Cor

A weekend full of love and laughs....

Hope yours was too!

Nodding my head to...

Solvang "Weekend" with Carls

Our drive up.

I love California. Who would guess that

this picture was taken in the middle of January?

The view from our hotel room.

Our lovely hotel room.

Vista point!

& this lovely picture below is my delicious dinner at Root 246.

We got a $50 restaurant credit with our hotel room.

Great deal, right?

This was fried chicken atop creme fraiche mashed potatoes,

topped with shredded fuji apples.

DELISH.

A different way to look to at it

Via Quote Book

Tuesday Tunes

Oh friends, being sick is NO fun. Goodness. It was miserable being sick for almost 2 weeks!

This weekend my friend Carli and I took a quick trip up the coast to Santa Barbara & Solvang. We stayed at the adorable Hotel Corque and had a delicioussssss dinner at Root 246. Utterly delicious. During our drive, this song played a couple times.... and it is just SO sweet.

Train - Marry Me (Official Music Video). Watch more top selected videos about: The Train

In other words

Friends, I know it's not a Tuesday. I just HAD to share this cover of one of my favorite love songs. Here's J. Mraz playing one of Mr. Sinatra's classics.

Good advice.

Also, I'm starting a care package project. Yep. Each month, I will send someone I know or don't know a care package filled with love and a few goodies. I mean... who says that you should only spread good cheer around Christmas time. So the question is... who'll receive the first care package? I'll let you know once they've received it!

Let us rise up & build

I’m currently reading “Called to Lead: 26 Leadership lessons from the life of the apostle Paul.” I am loving every minute of it. Today I was reading about Nehemiah and how he took the initiative to go and rebuild the walls of Jerusalem. There was a “verse” that struck me and I thought… that will be my theme for 2011…. Or maybe even, forever. Ahah.

“Let us rise up and build.” (lifted from Nehemiah 2:18)

Now I know he was referring to the walls of Jerusalem… but after reading the whole story, how can you NOT apply it to your life?

Lately I have been feeling like I’m not doing enough. Yes, I am a nurse who works with sick kids… but I don’t think it’s enough. I need to minister more, I should be doing more, and I am scared to death that I am not being who I am called to be. Or really, if I even know who I am called to be. Because what I’ve been worrying about lately is whether or not I have heard my calling… and if I’ve not… how can I be who God has called me to be?

So, while I have tons of mini-goals for this year… I want to rise up. I want to build. For God. For His people. For me.

Happy 2011! (+Tuesday Tunes)

Hi Friends! Happy New Year! I haven't quite figured out my 2011 resolutions yet... but I will let you know when I have!

I had NYE dinner with my family and then spent the rest of the night with one of my greatest friends- Caiti! I spent most of the night laughing... which I think is pretty great!

On 1/1/11, I started the day with Church, lunch with my sister + her boyfriend, and hung out with my dear friend Alan. He taught me how to play poker + call of duty! ahah. Who thought I'd learn so much on the first day of the new year!

On Sunday, I went to breakfast with my Mom. MMMM... Delicious! I had pancakes and my mom had this yummy veggie breakfast skillet with hollandaise sauce. SO good. We spent the rest of the day shopping and watching movies. It was terrific.

So here's to the new year...may 2011 be more than we ever thought it would be!