Baking Galore!

Tomorrow is my last night at Glendale Adventist. I have made a wonderful family there and I will be sad to leave them. I have learned so much for them and they have welcomed me with open arms. So... to say farewell. I made Red Velvet Cupcakes with Cream Cheese frosting via Crepes of Wrath. The only thing I did differently was use apple cider vinegar instead of white vinegar. Anyways, super easy recipe....and delicious, too!

Cranberry-Carrot Muffins

I know. They sound weird. But they were moist and had a wonderful cinnamon-y taste!!! Great for breakfast on the go.

The recipe is adapted from King Arthur Flour + Smitten Kitchen.

1 cup whole wheat flour

1 cup all-purpose flour

1 tspn baking powder

1 tspn baking soda

1/4 tspn salt

1 tbspn cinnamon (ALOT! but the perfect amount)

1 stick of butter, at room temp

1/2 cup granulated sugar

1/2 cup brown sugar (use 1/4 when making the muffins and the other 1/4 for the topping)

1 egg

1/2 tspn oil

1 cup buttermilk

1/2 cup grated carrots

1/4 cup cranberries

Preheat the over to 450* F. It yields 12 large muffins. But if you're like me... you need a large muffin in the morning!

Mix the flours, baking powder, baking soda, salt, and cinnamon together. Set aside.

Cream the butter and sugars (remember...only use 1/4 of the brown sugar). Add egg and oil, then mix. Next, mix in the buttermilk gently. Smitten Kitchen says that if you over-mix it, the mixture will curdle. Stir in dry ingredients little by little and fold in the carrots and cranberries. Divide into 12 muffin cups and sprinkle the 1/4 cup of brown sugar on top of the muffins. Bake for 10 minutes @ 450. Turn the heat down to 400*F and bake for 5 more minutes.

Thoughts

The Weekend and the Dream

This weekend, my mom celebrated her 50th birthday. We have the most ridiculous relationship. We get along one minute and the next we are heavily arguing over something ridiculous. Nonetheless, I love her more than words can say and am so blessed to be her daughter. I can only pray and hope that I will be at least half of the mother, nurse, and friend that she is.

So a few months ago, my heart broke as Childrens Los Angeles (CHLA) told me that their Hem/Onc floor would not be hiring any residents for the March cohort. I applied for Cardiac Transplant anyway because CHLA is such an incredible facility. I didn't get the job. I wasn't too sad, because that isn't what I am most passionate about, but I was definitely taken aback. Then I found out that Loma Linda Children's Hospital hem/onc floor wasn't hiring either. I seriously started doubting what had been my dream for so long. I doubted that I should be a peds oncology nurse and that maybe that's not what God wants me to do. I let myself start to believe that.Then I remembered that there is a reason why this is my passion. I mean, it's not everyday that someone has a passion for cancer...or rather a passion for helping people with cancer. I want to kill this disease, but I don't have the power to do that. So I hope that in my journey as a peds oncology nurse I can help dull the pain, provide hope, and just be a hand to hold when all the medication and treatment isn't enough.

Anyways... Last Monday, I got a call from the nurse recruiter at CHLA telling me that 4e (HEM/ONC!) wanted to take ONE resident and they wanted me to interview for it. I went on Thursday and absolutely fell in love with the floor. 4 east is all the leukemia's and lymphomas, as well as some hematology patients. 4 west is all the solid tumors. And right behind them is the bone marrow transplant unit. The managers were incredibly nice and informative. I got the call today that I got the job!!! I will be a pediatric oncology nurse. I have had this dream for so long. At least since highschool. I am so excited. and terrified. and I just feel so blessed to have the opportunity to work with some of the strongest kids on the planet.

Current Favorites: From Where You Are - Lifehouse
Away- Wakey Wakey
Brookelyn- Wakey Wakey

L-O-V-E

"Maybe that’s what it all comes down to. Love, not as a surge of passion, but as a choice to commit to something, someone, no matter what obstacles or temptations stand in the way. And maybe making that choice, again and again, day in and day out, year after year, says more about love than never having a choice to make at all."

Emily Giffin

+Listening to All My Days by Alexi Murdoch (thanks for the recommendation ASH!)
+praying for Carli's family

Bad things, bad things go away....good things, good things here to stay.
Bad things, bad things go away....good things, good things here to stay.
Bad things, bad things go away....good things, good things here to stay.

Green Eyes

What a wonderful first week of the year. Though I had core week (P.S. CLASS FROM 8:30-6 IS LAMEEEE), I had a wonderful time at school. I spent the week with good friends and my BSN classmates. Though my classes are super tough this quarter, I am learning a lot. I was never really that good at biology because I could not, for the life of me, understand how the golgi body or mitochondria related to the human body....I didn't see the big picture. Now I do! I am so excited!

Green Eyes by Coldplay seems to be my theme song these past few weeks... "I came here with a load and now it feels so much lighter..." Much love to loni & ash for making what could have been a heartbreaking week into a heart healing week. The week was filled with girly movies, ridiculous dancing, incog!, food, italian chocolate, and... love.

2010 is going to be full of lessons. I've already learned (or re-learned) several.

1) Life goes on.
2) It is full of surprises. Doors open. Doors close. The point is...there are SO many doors.
3) God puts pretty amazing people in our lives.
4) We are meant to love. and be loved. so love freely and openly and break down those terrible, terrible walls that encase your heart.

2010

This year I am going to try to stop worrying
about whether I will be a pediatrics nurse or
about how much money I need to save or
about how uncertain my future is or
about how unnerving it is to "grow up".
Instead, I want to spend my year making life
more meaningful, more worth living.
I am going to try to be less selfish,
love freely and openly,
and trust that God has a bigger plan for me that I could ever imagine.

2010, may you be a year full of amazing experiences, adventures, and lessons.